Our inner critic often disguises itself as motivation. It tells us to work harder, be more efficient, and never settle. While a healthy level of self-reflection helps us grow, unchecked self-criticism can be paralyzing. It creates self-doubt, imposter syndrome, and an endless cycle of “never good enough.” Does this sound familiar?

Science says…

As humans, self-criticism is deeply rooted in our psychological makeup. According to research in cognitive psychology, our brains have a negativity bias, which means we tend to focus more on our shortcomings than our successes.

The inner critic is also linked to the self-discrepancy theory, which suggests that when there is a gap between our actual self and our ideal self, we experience feelings of inadequacy and self-judgment.

If you understand these two mechanisms, it can already be a tremendous help in reframing your thoughts and developing a healthier relationship with yourself. 🩷

Possible roots for self-criticism

Social Conditioning

Women, especially entrepreneurs, often feel the pressure to prove themselves. Societal norms and industry biases contribute to the belief that we must work twice as hard to be taken seriously (I repeat: the world we live in today has been shaped by men and focused on MASCULINITY).

Childhood Experiences

Childhood experiences play a significant role in shaping our inner critic. Many of our self-critical tendencies stem from early interactions with caregivers, teachers, or peers. If you grew up in environments where praise was conditional, mistakes were met with harsh criticism, or achievements were never quite enough, you may have internalized these external judgments.

Some actions you can take today:

Instead of allowing self-criticism to drain your confidence, you can shift to a mindset of constructive self-compassion. Here’s a few examples that worked for me.

Think about who you are trying to impress.

Most often than not, self-criticism is not about proving to ourselves, but proving to others. Ask yourself the question: “Who are you trying to impress with this?” To my surprise, whenever I answer this question, I realize that the opinion of the person I’m trying to impress doesn’t even matter. And it’s a great way to take the edge off.

Take the power away from negative thoughts.

Life is a paradox. You can always look at things from two opposing points of view and both of them will be simultaneously true. Try small mindset changes, like replacing “I failed” with “I learned something valuable.” Over time, these little re-phrasing exercises will make a major difference in how you look at yourself.

Re-set your expectations.

Have you heard the quote “Done is better than perfect”? Getting started is already half the battle and you should not undervalue your efforts in this. You have to allow yourself to start with a healthy level of naivity and aim for consistent improvement. To me, personally, the process is always more exciting than the outcome. If I feel I mastered something, I kinda lose interest in it. So the longer I feel like a newbie, the longer I can stick to something.

Remember: your inner critic isn’t your enemy—it’s just misguided. Learning to balance self-reflection with self-compassion will not only make you a stronger entrepreneur but also a happier one. Success has never been about being perfect; it’s about being resilient and adaptable, and to enjoy the ride.

Looking for some guidance?

I’ve designed a few practical steps that you can take to manage your inner critic to act as a fuel to your work, not to suffocate you. You can book me in for a free consultation here.

*Women started having a significant participation in the workforce around the 1950s.

The Myth of the One-Size-Fits-All Approach

We live in a world that loves certainty. We seek out blueprints, hoping they will eliminate risk and guarantee success. However, what works for one person may not work for another. Every entrepreneur’s journey is unique, influenced by their experiences, values, strengths, and circumstances.

Why There’s No Universal Path to Success

We Are Different
Your personality, strengths and skills define your best approach. Some entrepreneurs excel at networking, while others shine in content creation or analytical thinking.

When it comes to setting up, running and growing a successful business, you have to recognizing and leverage your unique abilities.

Our Lives Are Different
Besides personality differences, the second aspect we have to consider is our circumstances. We all start from different places—some have financial backing, while others bootstrap from scratch.

Some of us are single, some of us have families to take care of, which has a tremendous impact on our possible time and energy committment. Not sure if you know but even geographical location can influence how we should navigate our business journey.

The Market Is Different
The world changes and evolves constantly, and that’s true for business too. Strategies that worked a year ago may be completely obsolete today. We have to acknowledge that adaptability is a , rather than rigidly following a set path, is what helps businesses thrive.

3 Steps You Can Take Today to Help You Find Your Own Path

Step 1. Start the Journey of Self-Discovery

Who are you? What lights your fire up? What are some things that you definitely know you don’t want in life? Take a good, honest look around and ask the uncomfortable questions. These are questions that you might never find a definite answer to, but the more you ponder the closer you’ll get to knowing what feels good.

Tip: A brilliant tool for starting to understand yourself is Human Design. Human Design is a tool for getting a deeper understanding of what energizes you and what strategies can you follow in life to feel you’re in alignment.

Step 2. Set Your Goals for the Next Year

Once you figured out what motivates you, the next step is to get to planning mode. Try to set some goals for the next 12 months - that should give you enough time to implement strategies, measure if they work and ultimately, pivot if needed. Building on your findings from Step 1., make sure you set goals that align with your vision.

Tip: A common tool for goal-setting is the SMART framework. The acronym stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound - characteristics that all your goals should have.

Step 3. Execute and Adjust Along the Way

Remember this: no plan should be set in stone. As you take action, be open to learning and adapting. Evaluate what works, what doesn’t, and make the necessary adjustments. Progress comes from iteration, not perfection, so embrace the process and stay flexible as you carve out your own way.

Tip: A common practice in business is to set reminders in your calendar to check on the progress towards your goals. For example, if you plan for the next year, take some time and check how things are progressing every 3 months. This is a great way to learn what you should continue and stop doing.

Your entrepreneurial journey is yours and yours alone. While guidance and mentorship are valuable, you always have to take advice with a pinch of salt. At the end of the day, the most successful path is the one that aligns with your strengths, values, and vision. There is no one right way—only the way that works best for you.

Need help with where to start?

I’ve collected a set of tools that can take you through these steps in a simple, structured way. You can book me in for a free consultation here.

1. Never Quit.

What they meant: Quitting is for losers; persistence is everything.
What I learned: Sometimes, quitting is the smartest move. Whether it’s a toxic job, a failing business, or an unhealthy relationship, knowing when to walk away is just as important as perseverance. Strategic quitting creates space for better opportunities.

2. If You Don’t Have a Fever, You’re Not Sick.

What they meant: Power through discomfort; don’t be weak.
What I learned: Mental health and burnout are just as real as physical illness. Ignoring early signs of stress or fatigue only leads to bigger problems. Prioritizing well-being is key to long-term success.

3. Always Respect Your Teachers.

What they meant: Teachers are authority figures, and their word is final.
What I learned: Respect should be mutual. Questioning outdated ideas and thinking critically is essential for growth. Just because someone is in a position of authority doesn’t mean they’re always right.

4. Don’t Question Your Parents—They Act in Your Best Interest.

What they meant: Parents know best; just trust them.
What I learned: Parents mean well, but their experiences and fears often shape their advice. Challenging family norms and making independent decisions is part of personal growth.

5. Say Yes to Everything—You Never Know What Comes Out of It.

What they meant: Every opportunity is valuable; don’t be picky.
What I learned: Saying yes to everything leads to burnout. Setting boundaries and focusing on the right opportunities leads to greater success and fulfillment.

6. Save and Never Take Loans.

What they meant: Debt is dangerous; avoid it at all costs.
What I learned: While reckless debt is harmful, smart investments (such as business funding, mortgages, or education) can be powerful tools for financial growth. It’s about understanding the difference between financial instruments and leveraging money wisely, not fearing it.

7. Imagine What the Neighbors Would Think.

What they meant: Your reputation is everything.
What I learned: Living for others’ approval is a losing game. True success comes from aligning with your own values, not external validation.

8. The Harder You Work, the More You’ll Be Recognized.

What they meant: Hard work alone guarantees success.
What I learned: Hard work is important, but strategic work is even more valuable. Networking, positioning, and visibility often matter more than effort alone. Not to mention, that the artbitrary 9-to-5 doesn’t align with everyone’s productivity patterns.

9. You Don’t Need Therapy—Just Toughen Up.

What they meant: Mental toughness solves everything.
What I learned: Emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and mental well-being are crucial for success. Therapy, coaching, and personal development are investments, not weaknesses.

10. University Is the Only Path to Success.

What they meant: A degree guarantees a good life.
What I learned: Education is valuable, but it comes in many forms. Experience, skills, and adaptability are often more important than formal credentials.

Breaking Free from Outdated Advice

If you’ve ever felt trapped by limiting beliefs passed down from previous generations, you’re not alone. The world has changed, and so should our mindset.

As a business and life coach, I help people unlearn outdated thinking and create success on their own terms. If you’re ready to break free from limiting beliefs and design a life and career that truly fulfill you, let’s connect! Book a free consultation today and start your transformation.

We all deal with stress, but burnout is different. It’s what happens when stress becomes chronic, and you no longer have the resources—mentally, physically, or emotionally—to keep going. It sneaks up on you slowly, making you feel like no matter how much effort you put in, it’s never enough.

Here’s some seriously underrated causes of burnout:

1. You’re Giving More Than You’re Getting

When you constantly pour energy into your work, family, or clients without replenishing yourself, burnout is inevitable. This is especially true for entrepreneurs, service providers, and caregivers who feel responsible for everyone but themselves.

2. Your Work and Values Don’t Align

Have you ever felt completely drained by something that once excited you? When your work no longer feels meaningful—or worse, goes against your personal values—it creates emotional exhaustion that leads to burnout.

3. You’re Carrying an Invisible Mental Load

Burnout isn’t just about workload; it’s about the weight of that workload. If you’re constantly making decisions, planning ahead, and problem-solving—especially as a business owner or working parent—you’re using up mental energy faster than you can recover.

4. You’re Stuck in “Survival Mode”

Burnout often happens when you feel like you can’t slow down. If you’re always chasing deadlines, handling crises, or worrying about the next task, your nervous system stays in fight-or-flight mode. Long-term, this takes a serious toll on your well-being.

5. You’re Running on Perfectionism and Guilt

If you feel like you can never rest because “there’s always more to do,” you might be caught in a cycle of perfectionism and guilt. Perfectionists often push themselves beyond their limits, believing that anything less than 100% effort isn’t enough.

6. You’re Lacking True Support

Burnout is harder to manage when you feel like you’re in it alone. Whether it’s a lack of help in your business or personal life, not having a support system makes it harder to decompress and recover.

It’s Reeealy Time to Stop Running on Empty

You don’t have to accept burnout as part of success. The first step to breaking free is recognizing what’s fueling it in your life. If you’re ready to build a business and life that doesn’t leave you drained, let’s talk. Book a free consultation, and let’s create a plan together that actually works for you.

If you’re feeling drained, you might be wondering: should you push through or is it time to walk away? The answer isn’t always clear-cut, and let’s be real—no one else can decide that for you. But understanding the difference between temporary fatigue and unsustainable burnout can help you make a decision that actually serves you.

Burnout vs. Temporary Exhaustion—How Do You Know the Difference?

We all have rough days, weeks, even months. A heavy workload, a big project, or a stressful life event can leave you feeling wiped out. But usually, when things settle down and you take some time for yourself, the exhaustion lifts. That’s not burnout—that’s just needing a break.

Burnout, on the other hand, doesn’t go away with a good night’s sleep or a long weekend. It lingers. It seeps into everything. You wake up tired. Your passion is gone. The things that once excited you feel like a chore. And no matter how much effort you put in, it feels like you’re running on empty.

Some classic signs that you’re not just tired, but burnt out:

• You feel emotionally and physically drained, all the time.

• You’ve started to resent your work or daily responsibilities.

• Nothing feels fulfilling—even the wins don’t feel like wins.

• Your motivation is at an all-time low, and you just don’t care anymore.

• You’re more irritable, anxious, or detached than usual.

If you’re nodding along, it’s time to ask yourself the big question: should you keep going or is it time to change course?

When It Makes Sense to Push Through

Pushing through might be the right move if deep down, you still care about what you’re doing—you’re just temporarily overwhelmed. Maybe this is a tough season, not a sign that you’re in the wrong place. If:

• You still find meaning in your work but feel exhausted from a temporary busy period.

• You can see a light at the end of the tunnel—perhaps you just need a short break.

• Small changes (like better boundaries, delegation, or time off) would make a noticeable difference in how you feel.

In these cases, stepping back and reassessing how you can work smarter, not harder may be enough. Can you take something off your plate? Say no more often? Create space for recovery? If the answer is yes, making small adjustments could be the key to moving forward without completely burning out.

When It’s Time to Quit or Make a Major Change

Sometimes, burnout isn’t just a phase—it’s a flashing warning sign that something is seriously misaligned. It might be time to walk away if:

• You no longer feel any passion or connection to what you’re doing—even after a break.

• You’re in a toxic environment that is negatively affecting your well-being, and no amount of “self-care” is fixing it.

• You feel trapped in a cycle of stress and exhaustion, with no realistic way out.

• Your physical and mental health are suffering, and staying is doing more harm than good.

Quitting doesn’t mean failure—it can be an act of self-preservation. Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is let go of something that’s no longer serving you. And while that might feel scary, it also creates space for something better.

How to Decide What’s Best for You

If you’re stuck between pushing through or quitting, take some time to reflect. Ask yourself:

• Is this a temporary phase or a long-term pattern?

• What would need to change for me to feel better? Can I realistically make those changes?

• Am I staying because I truly want to, or because I’m afraid of what happens if I leave?

• What is the actual cost of staying? Is it worth it?

• If I tune out of my mind, what do I fell? What is my gut saying?

Sometimes, just sitting with these questions can bring the clarity you need. And time. Boy, oh boy… Waiting and giving things time is the worst possible strategy for me. I’m way too impatient, and you might be too.

Burnout is a serious sign that something needs to shift in your life — whether that means small tweaks or a major change. If you’re struggling to figure out your next step, you’ve got the help you’re looking for. Book a free consultation with me, and together we’ll explore what’s truly best for you. You don’t have to navigate this alone.

Get Your Chart

First things first: if you haven’t already, grab your free Human Design chart. There are plenty of online tools, some of which I mentioned in this post, that only require your birth date, time, and location. Your Human Design chart (also called a BodyGraph) is a map of your energy—how you interact with the world, make decisions, and operate at your best

Now, let’s break down what you’re looking at.

Components of a Chart

Energy Type: Your Operating System

Your Energy Type is the foundation of your design. It shows you how your energy naturally flows and how you can work with it (rather than against it).

Generators (and Manifesting Generators) are the builders and doers of the world. They’re here to follow what excites them and use their energy in satisfying ways. Because they have a defined Sacral center, they can sustain long periods of work—if it truly lights them up. If they force themselves to do things they hate, they burn out quickly. Their biggest challenge is learning to wait for the right opportunities rather than initiating from the mind, and trusting their gut (Sacral) response.

Manifestors are the trailblazers. They’re designed to initiate action and set things in motion. Unlike Generators, they don’t have sustainable energy for long hauls; instead, they work in powerful bursts. A Manifestor’s biggest key is informing people of their next move. Because they have a “closed aura,” letting others know what they’re doing reduces friction and resistance. They thrive when they follow their inner urges and aren’t bogged down by external control.

Projectors are the guides. They see systems, people, and processes more clearly than others and can offer profound insights. However, they don’t have a defined Sacral center, so they can’t work endlessly. They do best by waiting for recognition and invitations—when people ask for their guidance, that’s when their brilliance shines. Pushing their ideas on others or trying to “keep up” with Generator energy leads to bitterness and burnout. Rest is crucial for them.

Reflectors are the mirrors of society. They have all centers open (undefined), which makes them extremely sensitive to their environment. They sense what’s healthy or unhealthy in a group or space. Because their energy changes based on their surroundings, Reflectors are advised to wait a full lunar cycle (about 28 days) before making major decisions. This allows them to experience various phases of the moon and come to clarity.

Each type has a Strategy, which is basically the healthiest way for them to engage with life. Manifestors inform, Generators and MGs respond, Projectors wait for invitations, and Reflectors wait a lunar cycle (but more on this in a later post).

Authority: How You Make Decisions

Your Authority is all about your personal decision-making process. Human Design suggests that when you follow this inner compass, you make choices that truly align with who you are—rather than listening to external “shoulds” or forcing decisions from your mind.

• Emotional Authority: You experience emotional waves, and it’s best to “sleep on” important decisions. Big yes or no answers shouldn’t be made at the peak or trough of emotion. Waiting for emotional clarity ensures you don’t commit to something you’ll regret when the wave passes.

• Sacral Authority: You rely on a gut response—yes, no, or “uh-huh,” “uhn-uhn.” This is immediate and visceral. If you feel energized or lit up by something, that’s your green light. If you feel drained or flat, it’s not correct for you.

• Splenic Authority: A quiet, intuitive whisper or instinct in the moment. It speaks once, softly, and then it’s gone. Your job is to catch that subtle knowing.

• Ego Authority: Decisions should come from your heart’s desire and willpower. Ask: “Do I really want this?” If your will isn’t behind it, you won’t sustain the effort.

• Self-Projected Authority: Your truth emerges when you speak. Talking your decisions out loud (with a trusted friend or even alone) clarifies what resonates in your core.

• Lunar Authority: This is only relevant for you if you are a Reflector. Because you have no defined centers, you need the full lunar cycle to sample all possibilities and gain clarity about what truly feels right.

Defined vs. Open Centers

The shapes on your chart represent energy centers, somewhat akin to chakras. Centers that are defined (colored in) are areas where you have consistent energy and influence. Centers that are open (white) are places you absorb other people’s energy.

• Defined Centers: These show you what energy is reliably yours. For example, a defined Throat Center often means you’re naturally expressive or impactful in communication.

• Open Centers: Here’s where you learn from and reflect the outside world. If you have an open Emotional Center, you might feel others’ emotions more intensely than they do. It’s a great place for wisdom—once you realize not everything you feel belongs to you.

By exploring which centers are open or defined, you can identify where you’re most susceptible to conditioning (taking on beliefs, emotions, or patterns that aren’t really yours) and where you have a stable, consistent influence.

Channels & Gates: Your Unique Gifts

The lines and numbers you see connecting these centers are Channels and Gates. Each Gate or Channel represents specific themes or talents in your life.

• Gates (the numbers) act like doors to different traits. If a Gate is activated in your chart, it brings that quality or focus into your life. For example, Gate 56 might be about storytelling, while Gate 36 deals with emotional crisis and growth.

• Channels (the lines connecting two gates) create a stronger, more consistent theme. If both gates forming a channel are defined, you have a fully activated channel that can shape your personality and life direction. For instance, the 34–20 channel is called the “Channel of Charisma” and often appears in Manifesting Generators who have a knack for getting things done quickly.

Human Design isn’t something you just learn—it’s something you live. Instead of trying to memorize every detail, focus on your Type, Strategy, and Authority first. Try making decisions based on your Authority and see how it feels. Observe how following your Strategy changes the way life flows. The more you experiment with your design, the more natural it becomes. And if you’re feeling stuck or want help understanding your chart in a way that makes sense for you, book a free consultation with me. Together we can explore how to apply your design in your life and business.

From a young age, my parents instilled in me that working is a virtue. So as soon as I was old enough to develop pricy desires (like that phone I mentioned), I was told that I have to earn my desires. For common folk like my parents, financial literacy was non-existent, but they wanted to give me a different future, so they considered my education as an investment. Everything else was considered a need, not a necessity.

Earning was considered synonymous with self-worth. And for an impressionable girl with low self-esteem, this has been a recipe for disaster. With this equation in mind, I was destined to sacrifice everything on the altar of work. And man did I deliver.

I decided to share this very personal story, because I know I’m not alone. We can have different wounds behind the low self-esteem (mine is abandonment issues thanks the men in my family) but as over-achieving adults, because YES, we all have became over-achievers, it’s more important than ever to start redefining our approach to work.

Why now?

Because work is changing and it’s only gonna get more frustrating, stressful and dehumanizing. Instead of being an outlet for creative powers, work is becoming humanity’s enemy. Personally, I believe we’ve been on this road for a long time, but COVID and the rise of generative AI have been primary catalysts for the sudden change. More on this in the next article.

I’ve recently checked the stats and just in Sweden, the number of people going on sick leave due to burnout has DOUBLED in the past 4 years. Oddly enough, it was the time spent on sick leave when I got the calling to do some inner work. I started meditating, learning somatic techniques to self-regulate, learned to experience the NOW and realized that it’s only by looking inwards that I will finally find some peace. I was faced with the undeniable truth that I need inner guidance to know to move forward with work and life.

It’s been 3 years now and I’m not gonna lie: it’s still difficult most of the time. But I know so much more now that I did then. And the woman with the low self-esteem, who said yes to everything, was willing to sacrifice her free time for a career advancement and lost herself in the corporate persona she put on every morning is gone. Instead, you see a woman who is not liked by everyone anymore, but helps more people than ever to shape their work lives in a way that it causes less inner disconnect.

Most of us have to work to make a living. But I am convinced, that we have the ability to make work so much better: meaningful and fulfilling enough to not be our biggest enemy.

Burnout is a serious sign that something needs to shift in your life — whether that means small tweaks or a major change. If you’re struggling to figure out your next step, you’ve got the help you’re looking for. Book a free consultation with me and together we’ll explore what’s truly best for you. You don’t have to navigate this alone.

And I did it. I became that woman. I co-founded a startup. Raised money. Built a team. Lived the dream. And yet from the very beginning, something felt… off.

I blamed it on being new at this. I told myself I just needed to grow into the role, read more books and follow more LinkedIn Revenue Gods. Be bolder, louder, more persuasive. But the further I got, the worse it felt. Meetings became performances. Customer acquisition turned into a numbers game that left no space for real connection. The whole industry seemed built on posturing, exaggeration, carefully crafted hype cycles — and if I’m being honest, outright lies. I kept thinking: Maybe once we hit our targets, I’ll feel more grounded. Maybe once we close the next round, I’ll feel like I belong. But the imposter syndrome didn’t go away.

We tend to treat imposter syndrome like a mindset problem. A glitch in confidence. You feel like a fraud? Must mean you're too hard on yourself. Or you just haven’t earned your stripes yet. Or you're not celebrating your wins. And sometimes that's true. There is, indeed, the kind of imposter syndrome that comes from being new. From stretching into a bigger version of yourself. That version fades over time, as you build skill and self-trust and start embodying it. Yay! You faked it till you made it :-)

But there’s another kind. The kind that whispers: This isn’t you. But you don’t listen to it, because you know you can fake it till you make it. The whispers become louder until they turn into screams. Because this is a different kind. It’s a kind that doesn’t fade. It festers and festers because (as you’ll eventually realize) it’s not about a lack of confidence — it’s about a lack of alignment.

According to Kirkegaard, the great tragedy is that “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.”
And after long enough time to be able to reflect, I eventually realized I wasn’t feeling like a fraud because I wasn’t capable. I was feeling like a fraud because I was performing. I was performing someone else’s definition of success. Playing a role that looked great on paper but felt empty in practice. And the longer I stayed, the more I betrayed myself — not because I didn’t know what I was doing, but because I did, and I didn’t like who I had to become to keep doing it.

That’s when I started asking bigger questions. About my values. About integrity. About the kind of impact I actually want to have - and whether any of that could live inside the current system.

Human Design entered my life around this time, and while I don’t subscribe to it like a religion, it gave me a vocabulary I didn’t have before. It framed this gut-deep discomfort not as failure, but as feedback. A signal that I had veered far from my natural rhythm.

And that was the reframe I didn’t know I needed. Imposter syndrome has become part of my inner compass. I no longer treat it as a dysfunction. It’s my soul waving a red flag.

Because here’s what I’ve learned: you can force success. You can build something that scales. You can lead, grow, impress, and earn — and still feel like a stranger inside your own story. You don’t owe your dreams their completion if they no longer feel like home. In fact, they are no longer dreams if you’ve already outgrown them.

If you’re reading this as someone who’s outgrown a dream — or who’s quietly wondering if the version of success you’re chasing is actually draining the life out of you — let me say this: imposter syndrome might be the most honest thing about your experience right now.

You’re not broken. You’re waking up. And if you need guidance in navigating this realm with calm and peace, book a free consultation with me.

Survival mode to us is the garden of Eden for capitalists. While we’re trying to find and hold on to driftwood and save ourselves from drowning, employers have more access to talent and more leverage to push down prices than ever before. Our Maslowian pyramids are shaken from the bottom up, pushing out our tolerance levels to comedic heights.

A few months ago, I applied for a management consulting gig. One of the partners saw my CV and wanted to talk about roles they could put me forward for. Sounds promising, right? But let me reveal the punchline: weeks of meetings, free labor and various versions of an imagined future later there’s still no offer on the table.

I met their colleagues, filled my profile in their system, and reviewed a handful of roles for which I update my CV. This took hours of emotional and cognitive labor.

I was also asked to do something really, really uncomfortable: contact previous colleagues (from one specific company) to ask for references. To me, this type of request doesn’t come easy - not because they wouldn’t say yes (they did), but because job opportunities fall through so easily that it feels like I’m asking for free labor from people I respect just to add to the free labor I’m already doing.

After a few weeks of you-can-hear-the-crickets-chirping kind of silence I did what every person with actions-speak-for-themselves-level self-management skills would do: I followed up and got an invite for a catch up call.

The partner showed up shamefully unprepared, opened my CV and oral exam-style started asking me to rate my own skills like presentation, stakeholder management or excel. Red flag number 3217894 was when he started recording numbers he taught I should have said - not ones I actually said. When confronted, he brushed it off with a classic “oh, these numbers are just internal”.

Then came the money talk. Again. In earlier chats, they shared a salary range - one where I had mentally anchored myself to. It wasn’t amazing, but I was okay with it. A 25% pay cut, but hey, let’s stay flexible in the name of market conditions. Except now, the partner pulled out some internal calculator telling me I’d need to go even lower. Because, you know, margins and the market conditions.

At that moment, my inner voice made a loud decision that I won’t pursue this role anymore. Not out of bitterness. Not out of ego. Just a clear, embodied no. The kind of no that comes from your spine, not your mouth. And while my nervous system was screaming at me to walk away, my old programming was whispering back: "It’s still an option. Maybe you can negotiate. A bad deal is better than no deal."

Then I remembered a harsh lesson from my sales days: the significant difference between a prospect and an opportunity.

A prospect looks like potential - they show interest, ask for info, keep the conversation going. But the case with a prospect is that you can never lose them, for you never had them to begin with. However an opportunity is a lead with real substance to it. A lead that has some kind of fuel to push the deal forward. They have the budget, the buy-in, the clarity or simply just the right attitude to risk to take a bet on your solution.

Now, you tell me: does my story sound like I was dealing with a prospect or an opportunity? (Probably the number of red flags is a fine indicator.)

So many of us believe that our worth is tied to how employable we are. We really believe our inner critic when it says that something’s wrong with us, not the situation. But these kinds of prospects are just glorified maybes. Pure energy leak. And honestly, I find the audacity appalling.

The true power lies in recognizing when something is just a prospect and not a real opportunity. Because one thing is for sure: you’ll have to work to get a job that gets you paid. And knowing when to push through or when to walk away is the most valuable skill you can develop. I’ve learnt the hard way, but it’s true: saying no to unfavorable things also means saying yes to the abundance of possibilities that can find you.

I’ve been re-learning what meaningful work really looks like.

If you’re willing and able to open yourself to uncover your unique strengths, book a free consultation and see if I’m the right guide for you.