Busted!
Our inner critic often disguises itself as motivation. It tells us to work harder, be more efficient, and never settle. While a healthy level of self-reflection helps us grow, unchecked self-criticism can be paralyzing. It creates self-doubt, imposter syndrome, and an endless cycle of “never good enough.” Does this sound familiar?
Science says…
As humans, self-criticism is deeply rooted in our psychological makeup. According to research in cognitive psychology, our brains have a negativity bias, which means we tend to focus more on our shortcomings than our successes.
The inner critic is also linked to the self-discrepancy theory, which suggests that when there is a gap between our actual self and our ideal self, we experience feelings of inadequacy and self-judgment.
If you understand these two mechanisms, it can already be a tremendous help in reframing your thoughts and developing a healthier relationship with yourself. 🩷
Possible roots for self-criticism
Social Conditioning
Women, especially entrepreneurs, often feel the pressure to prove themselves. Societal norms and industry biases contribute to the belief that we must work twice as hard to be taken seriously (I repeat: the world we live in today has been shaped by men and focused on MASCULINITY).
Childhood Experiences
Childhood experiences play a significant role in shaping our inner critic. Many of our self-critical tendencies stem from early interactions with caregivers, teachers, or peers. If you grew up in environments where praise was conditional, mistakes were met with harsh criticism, or achievements were never quite enough, you may have internalized these external judgments.
Some actions you can take today:
Instead of allowing self-criticism to drain your confidence, you can shift to a mindset of constructive self-compassion. Here’s a few examples that worked for me.
Think about who you are trying to impress.
Most often than not, self-criticism is not about proving to ourselves, but proving to others. Ask yourself the question: “Who are you trying to impress with this?” To my surprise, whenever I answer this question, I realize that the opinion of the person I’m trying to impress doesn’t even matter. And it’s a great way to take the edge off.
Take the power away from negative thoughts.
Life is a paradox. You can always look at things from two opposing points of view and both of them will be simultaneously true. Try small mindset changes, like replacing “I failed” with “I learned something valuable.” Over time, these little re-phrasing exercises will make a major difference in how you look at yourself.
Re-set your expectations.
Have you heard the quote “Done is better than perfect”? Getting started is already half the battle and you should not undervalue your efforts in this. You have to allow yourself to start with a healthy level of naivity and aim for consistent improvement. To me, personally, the process is always more exciting than the outcome. If I feel I mastered something, I kinda lose interest in it. So the longer I feel like a newbie, the longer I can stick to something.
Remember: your inner critic isn’t your enemy—it’s just misguided. Learning to balance self-reflection with self-compassion will not only make you a stronger entrepreneur but also a happier one. Success has never been about being perfect; it’s about being resilient and adaptable, and to enjoy the ride.
Looking for some guidance?
I’ve designed a few practical steps that you can take to manage your inner critic to act as a fuel to your work, not to suffocate you. You can book me in for a free consultation here.
*Women started having a significant participation in the workforce around the 1950s.